Gang-rape and a Dismembered Body.

I was reading Judges 19 the other night. To better understand this, I would just suggest you read the passage itself, however, I’ll attempt at giving you a short overview.

It’s about a Levite and his concubine. She was unfaithful to him and she ran off and didn’t come back. Four months later, the Levite goes to his father-in-law’s home (the father of the concubine) to fetch her and bring her back. With him he brings his servant and his two donkeys. After staying several nights with his father-in-law, the Levite, his servant, the concubine, and the two donkeys head back to their home. They stopped in a town square to camp out, because nobody would take them in for the night. But then a local comes up to the group and urges them not to sleep in the town square, and invites them to stay at his home. They accept.


Once they arrived at the home and started to eat dinner, they hear a rather angry knock upon the door. It’s the wicked villagers of the surrounding town. They ask the local man to send out the Levite so they may have sex with him. The local responds by offering up his virgin daughter instead. The men decline the offer. Then, the Levite offers up his concubine, they accept her. She’s thrown into the mob of angry villagers, from sun down to sun up she is raped and beaten. (Yeah, that’s nearly 12 hours of torture for the concubine.)

The next morning, the Levite looks out to see his concubine on the doorstep, reaching for the threshold of the door. He tries to stir her but she does not respond, she lays there inert. So he takes his concubine, puts her on a donkey, and carries her lifeless body back to his home. When finally he arrives, the man cuts up the concubine, limb by limb, into 12 pieces. He sends these dismembered body parts to all the parts of Isreal.

If you continue on and read the last chapters in Judges, you will come to see the conclusion of the story. But the reason I have brought up this point is to show you what has happened in my life recently.

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Second-Hand Child

Silent in the night, the rain begins to fall
onto the half shaven head of a young college student,
much like the eyes of a Father above Whose gaze falls upon this same student;
His son, however misfit, adored.

As the child is met by well-dressed passers-by,
he wears his second-hand shoes, his second-hand clothes with a second-hand jacket, patched in many places.

The night becomes silent still.
The child walks alone, save for the romantic couples clustered in the streets. The child feels lonely, having no significant other to spend his starry, winter nights with. The child continues to walk, now with his head hung low with the damage of rejection bottled within.

The child, always clinging to this rejection. The Father, always asking to take it from him. The child, never listening.

Q:Anarchy is the lack of order, state, or anything else that will give power to a men/women over others. Church/Religion has certain kind of power, thus it's existence along with anarchy is not possible in any way. Thus some anarchists are very against it.

Anonymous

Just as anarchism lacks order, the intent of Christian anarchism is to do away with order as well. Of course, in Christian anarchism, love for thy neighbor and nonviolence (a turn-the-other-cheek mentality) are both key roles in the belief. In addition, God plays a key role in Christian anarchy. We look to Him to be the high authority and go-to.

Most anarchists argue that, because God is in the picture, that Christian anarchy isn’t true anarchy. In reality, not even anarchy is “true anarchy.” The dictionary definition for anarchy is chaos. As anarchists, of course we look for the chaos first as far as the existence of government depleting, but in the end anarchy will not be chaos. Anarchy will be each individual living for themselves. Anarchy is about having no “social-status,” and everyone being on an equal playing field.

Christian anarchy is about the same exact thing, only with God, love, and nonviolence thrown into the process. When no government exists, Christian anarchists will hold to their higher standards, and because of it, the disorder and anarchy will be maintained amongst ourselves.

Practically any Christian anarchist you ask will say they do not agree with the modern day church, or the religious part of Christianity.In our churches, deacons and pastors are often put up on pedestals before the congregation. I believe that is absolutely absurd! All men are equal. No man has any more power over the other. I am not satisfied with the modern day church.

God is the ultimate authority. I know “authority” is the ultimate no-no word for true anarchists, but I think it’s a safe argument to say that authority will find us again even when there is no government. (i.e. look at the structure of the family- parents are head of the household. Among friends, one usually heads up the gang in tough situations.) Authority will exist no matter what. I, as a Christian anarchist, am not fond of the thought that authority is handed to another human being just like me. Man is corrupt and deceitful and should not be given power over other men on a large scale.

Christian anarchists place authority in God alone, for He is not a man.

I’ve gotten a lot of questions/comments about the belief of Christian anarchy. I really do hope this helps you to understand the concept better. If you still have questions, please, do not hesitate to ask me.

Important-ish Update.

I’ve been neglecting this blog a little bit more each and everyday. I do not think it was intentional, but it has done me some good. This blog often times takes a lot out of my life, and therefore, when not using this blog, I do not have this distraction.

I’ve been doing a lot of homework and studying for school, I’ve been doing more and more socializing as the days go on, and I have gotten involved in many other activities on campus. But I’m not writing this to talk about my routine schedule or anything, no. I’m hear to talk about what God’s been doing in my life.

God has began to make me feel very uncomfortable in the place that I am. It’s like trying to get comfortable on those old school pews you find in some churches; they just were not made for comfort. I have, over the last few months, began to grow stagnant in my spiritual walk with God. It’s hit me hard how much I have not grown (and digressed) from the spiritual walk I had only last year.

I now have people coming to me for spiritual advice, for accountability, and to just be an all around good influence. I am not going to lie: I suck horribly at all three. It’s scared me how much I cannot help these people that are looking up to me. It’s scary that people are looking to me to be a good influence in their life. Now, I am not a particularly bad influence, I try my hardest to be good. But my fear of slipping up has grown so much these past few weeks. There are people here on this campus that need to see what it really means to have a relationship with God.

Anyways, God has been speaking to me these past few days and I love it. It is a bit overwhelming, however. I had a rather spontaneous conversation with a friend of mine tonight about our spiritual walk and how to maintain a good one. We also spoke about changes that would be lovely to see in the church (after reading the letters in Revelations). Through the interaction, God has shown me that He’s wanting to do something really big and something very impacting. I’m not quite sure what it is just yet, but He is preparing me for something monumental. I just pray that I can have the courage and perseverance to do whatever it is when the time comes.

On a side note:

I haven’t been painting or drawing lately, and God has gotten onto me about that recently. It wasn’t that I was neglecting my art purposefully, but with my busy schedule, my motivation and time for art has seemed to drown in it all. However, I will make time to do some new artwork. I never really thought God wanted me to focus on that area of my life; I have never been confident in my skill as an artist. But now that I have taken a break from art, I see that God is still calling me to that area of life. It’s cool knowing that God wants me to do art. Knowing that God’s calling me back to that area is motivating in and of itself. God gave me the talent of being artistic. And not only that, but He rejoices whenever I do art for His glory. How rad is that?

So I want to encourage you all: do not become stagnant in your faith! Pursue God as much as possible, even to the most miniscule amount. Because God has pursued you endlessly, and still continues to do so!

Also, if you have discovered a talent that God has blessed you with, don’t let it go to waste! God gave you that talent because He wants you to use that talent.

I love you all. Keep me in your prayers, as I will do the same for you.

In Christ,

-kyleromain

The love of God and the love of horror.

Horror, to me, is a coping mechanism. Many people see me as a face-value horror fan. No, if my love for horror was simply because I liked it and it interested me, I wouldn’t be claiming that I love horror.

Whenever sadness, heartache, or stress finds it’s way into my life, I cannot trust people to help me recover or escape my distraught. People have too often let me down in life, and frankly, they are very untrustworthy. However, there seems to be two things in my life that have been constant enough to help me in my daily walk. Two things that help me recover from tragedy and cope with situations: God and horror.

God is, of course, the first resort. He carries me from the flames and saves my life from further harm. His love has never let me go, even though I am an untrustworthy and disappointing human being like everyone else. Since the beginning, God has always cared and loved for His children to no end.

With that being said, horror is the only worldly thing that helps me cope. Though, in my opinion, horror is actually otherworldly; it’s supernatural. The feeling of horror is just as therapeutic to me as the feeling of love, joy, or what-have-you.

For whatever reason, horror helps me feel alive. The gore and terror that can be found in literature, movies, etc. helps me cope with things I cannot deal with alone.

When I see bodies mangled and monsters wreaking havoc, you will find a slight smile creeping across my face. Call me sick, call me twisted, but at least I resort to the world of horror rather than the world of alcohol, drugs, or anything else self-destructive. I am much deeper than just a horror fan, though I am most definitely one of those. Horror helps me carry on.

Nightmare Within a Nightmare.

The dream I had last night was one of those “dream-within-a-dream” things (Not quite Inception) but rather, it was a “nightmare-within-a-nightmare,” something that I have never experienced myself.

I will not comment on the first nightmare in my dream, for personal reasons. But after I awaken from this first nightmare in my dream, a real horror we can all understand begins to unfold, a nightmare with most beautiful imagery, I believe.

I awaken from the nightmare, and once I understand it was only a dream, I come back to my full senses. I am in my bed. My room is eerily accurate, even to be a dream. This felt nothing like a dream, rather, it felt like I was awake. I look to the corner of my room, where I have a clutter of amps and guitars. My room was dark, and the sun had yet to rise. But through the calm, still, black  that filled my room, I could make out a shape that stood in front of my dim-lit window. It was not the usual shape my guitar case makes against my window, no, it had been replaced with a much larger, seemingly human shape. I let out a scream.

My hand immediately goes for the lamp that’s placed beside my bed. As I click it on, I wished that I hadn’t. What stood in my room was no less than a demon. The demon’s name was Addiction. He stood there immobile. He had no skin, he was simply comprised of muscles. The tendons and muscle were not visible, however, because Addiction was covered and dripping in vibrant, red blood. It’s left eye was missing while the other shown white, piercing through the red. The demon stood frozen as if it was in mid-step toward my bed. I look to my bedside table and see my cell phone. As I begin to reach for it, I see Addiction begin to move out of the corner of my eye. I quickly glance up at him, and he pauses once again. I glance over to my bedroom door, to check that it was open for an easy getaway. It is not. Addiction begins to move once again, but is turned immobile again when I set my eyes on him. (I said “Addiction,” not “Weeping Angel”).

At this point, I wake up from my nightmare[s] with a loud gasp for air. My room is much lighter now that I’ve woken up, and the corner of my room holds no bloody demon. My initial thought is that some dark entity had come upon me during my slumber. It was the only logical explanation for such gripping horror to come to me. The fear I felt had to be supernatural, for I had never felt such a fear. But then a thought came to me.

Addiction does not control people, Addiction simply finds the vulnerability within a human being and extracts that. With that vulnerability brought forth, Addiction makes us do whatever he wants us to do because at this point, Addiction is so much more powerful than we are… especially when we are attacked in our weakness. The Bible, however, tells us that God is a God that delivers. Even when we feel weak, even when Addiction is coming for us in our own, nightmarish bedroom, God delivers.

God delivers us from our addictions.

So God spoke to me through a dream again..

Only this time it was a nightmare, an absolutely horrifying nightmare. I woke up crying, praying, and begging it might not be true. But then the Lord gives me assurance, and then I see the message in the dream, and it’s something He has been trying to tell me for a long time.

God writes really, really good nightmares. Absolutely terrifying things. Do not ever doubt that. The piss is still scared out of me, and it has been an hour since I woke up. Needless to say, God got His point to me. Wow.

All doubt aside, God truly is The Horror Master. (So therefore, John Carpenter is undeserving of the name.)

Sometimes when I am so loaded down with stress and sadness

I just can’t take it anymore.
But when I pray to God and He takes it all away and those problems become so small and worthless. Times when you can just sit in silence and be surrounded by the endless love God has for you, it’s the moments like this that give me a reason to wake up in the mornings and live another day. Without God in my life, I really could not go on. I am powerless on my own.

I don’t really know what to title this.

I hate to call myself Christian, since it appears more and more Christians are becoming close-minded everyday. I am anything but close-minded. I am also not a conventional Christian. After all, I am against government, against war and violence/death, I am for gay rights, and that’s just the start of a long list. I’m sure I make many Christians uneasy in their beliefs, as well. But I can honestly say that I believe the Bible to be the total truth, and in fact, the only truth. I may offend some Christians when I say this, but I’m not sorry. I do not let a news channel tell me the facts, I don’t believe my television to be true, and I do not let my government, teachers, or preachers tell me what I am supposed to believe. God and His Word (the Bible) is the only absolute truth there is.

I listen to a lot of music. I do not listen to solely Christian music, nor do I listen to solely non-Christian music, you see, I love music in the many forms it comes. Music was invented to praise and glorify God, and I also believe all of our talents were given to us by God, whether you believe in Him or not. It’s very apparent that not every musician uses their talent to glorify God, and you know, that’s okay. Not everyone is a believer of the Bible, and this is in no means a Christian nation, so I wished my fellow brothers and sister would not treat it as such. Just because a musician/band is not “Christian” does not mean they should be disregarded. Sometimes I like to listen to music that is happy, sometimes I like listening to sad music, and I always love listening to music I can relate to. I think we all like that. If I can find enjoyment in a non-Christian band’s music, then so be it, I’m going to listen to their songs.

I listen to a lot of music. Often, Christians insult me and condemn me for the music I listen to, movies I watch, books I read, and pictures I draw. “Hey, the Misfits isn’t a Christian band, you’re a Christian, you’re supposed to be listening to Christian music and living the American Christian life blah blah.” I get condemned by Christian almost as much as an atheist does. I think that’s a big problem. I have a big problem with Christians. Christians call the musicians that I like and listen to “Idiots, Jackasses, and Pagans,” so yeah, I have a big problem with Christians and they make me angry. I don’t think Christ would ever call anyone in Against All Authority an idiot, nor do I believe he’d call Harley Poe or The Homeless Gospel Choir a bunch of “jackasses.” Jesus Christ loved everyone and treated them selflessly, I like Jesus, and I think he is the coolest guy to ever have walked the earth. I often wonder if many of the Christians I know are even serving the same God that I am. If they were, they wouldn’t be condemning me so freakin’ much. There are a lot of Christians who turn away from the church because of the “Christians” within it. And honestly, I do not blame them.

You know, I started out and intended this post to be about one thing, but it came out as something drastically different. But nonetheless, this is from my heart.

Any person who reads this and is not a believer in Christ, first of all, I thank you for bearing with me enough to read my angry rant, and second of all, I’m sorry for the Christians you’ve encountered in your life that were total douches. Jesus was nothing like them, and those Christians probably don’t even know what they are doing.

Sometimes, my relationship with God just feels so real. I’m not saying I doubt or anything. I’m just saying that sometimes, God just seems more real than others. It’s as if He’s not just ‘the big man upstairs that I pray to,’ but He’s actually like a Father to me. When I most need it, God is always there for me and that never fails. The relationship I have with Him, it’s just so real. Sometimes it’s just as real as if someone were sitting right beside me. Nights like that really prove to me that God is real and that He is very much alive. Nights like that help affirm the love that God does have for me.

I’m posting this simply because I can’t stand to keep quite about how great of a God I serve, and I’m posting this in hopes that you might read it. Maybe it will encourage you to pick back up with your faith if you’ve been stagnant for a while. Maybe it will open your eyes to see that God is really more than just some sort of religious figure. Maybe this will just sound absolutely stupid to you, and I’m okay with that.

“When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider: God has made the one as well as the other. Therefore, a man cannot discover anything about his future.” Ecclesiastes 7:14

During my study this morning I came across this verse and it really just spoke to me, personally. I am scared to death of my future, thinking about it frightens me. But after reading this I am reminded that I’m being silly and there’s nothing to be afraid of. God already knows what is going to happen to me. He made the good times just as well as the bad times, I believe, to make life unpredictable for us; that way we might trust in Him more. Nothing is going to happen to me that God doesn’t already know about. That’s just really comforting to me.

I believe romantic love is just another one of Satan”s lies.

It’s just one more thing for us to desire that gets us off track with God.

In my English class we’re watching some stupid romance movie for whatever reason. I hate it. I hate romance movies. I can watch people be ripped apart in movies all day long but I cannot stand to watch romance movies; they affect me on a whole new level. I even know a few girls who, though they claim to love romance movies, they admit that they get them feeling very much depressed afterwards. Romance movies make it seem as though love between a man and woman is what is needed. Our country drives that so hard, that romantic love is all we need. I’m just sick of it and will take no more.That’s why I’m just going to rant about this for a bit.

Being married or being in a relationship with a guy/girl is just not even necessary, really. The whole reason we’re here on earth is to love. Not the fake, deceptive romantic love. Real love. God loves us so much, more than we will ever know. That love pours into us so much that we overflow with it. We’re here to give off that same love. We are to be so full of love that we can’t help but give other people that same love. The love of God is very much real. Romantic love is not. It’s a distraction, another one of Satan’s lies to pull us away from our Father.

Maybe you read this and you have found someone. Either you’re married, engaged, or just dating; whatever. Just don’t let that get in the way of the more important things in life. When relationships fail, we shouldn’t be so upset. I just feel like we’re setting ourselves up for failure when we get involved in a relationship like that. Romantic love is going to always fall short. The love of God will always, always remain.

It seems like people are looking down upon me because I’m not going to vote.

I’m eighteen now. All the folks say it’s a great freedom and right that we have. ha.

No, I am not voting but yes, I am praying. I’d say prayer goes a lot further than a vote. I’m praying that God does whatever is in His will. I guess that’s silly because His will is going to be done regardless. But, I’m just praying that it’ll all happen the way that God wants it to go down. Maybe that doesn’t make sense to you, but it makes sense to me.

I don’t care who’s president. I just pray that God’s will is succesfully fufilled. If I’ve got any part in His will as far as the country’s concerned then by all means, God, use me.

I’m not going to cast my vote for an evil man because the world tells me to. I’d cast vote for an evil man if God told me to, but until that day.